Wetting My Sole to Weigh In My Soul
Like it doesn’t matter to the mighty rain where it falls,
people’s judgments no longer matter to me —
discordant notes that I heard while growing up — and still continue —
that hit me like shards out of nowhere or
perhaps, they were there all along about to hit me,
but I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught
that always left me exhausted.
Don’t wear a nose ring — you will look older
don’t tie up your hair — you may not look good
don’t style up — you are not supposed to
don’t educate yourself too much — will not help
don’t have a career — you will be the golden goose to your parents
don’t have an opinion — you cannot
don’t like a particular color — we will marry you off to that colored man
you cannot be an introvert — you have to smile even if tearing up inside
and so many other judgments and the advice….
as though I can’t decide for myself
what is good and what is not.
People were quite pleased when I stumbled on my own
- they will be pleased now as well.
Always eager to pull me down,
they will be very happy just like they are when it rains
and their garden of judgment blooms.
Though they like seeing me fail, I am also not supposed to…..
I should always be winning.
What a holier-than-thou attitude that is!
Reeking of hypocrisy or what is it called?
I should get enlightened on that.
All those naysayers are nowhere now
with their unsuccessful lives, and
though they check sometimes,
they are dumbfounded
to see a successful and confident woman — That is me!
Yet,
just like an umbrella alone cannot prevent
my beautiful feet and soles from getting wet,
I cannot prevent people’s ugly judgments
from drenching and drowning me!
I drift back successfully,
and I have been wetting my soles to weigh in my soul
since ages — what an intoxication that is!
©A.H. Mehr
In response to Wetting My Sole. Thanks, Monoreena Acharjee Majumdar.
